Embracing the Value of Making Friends Slowly.

You know that person who walks into a room and instantly draws people in? The one who somehow makes friends with the barista, the person next to them in line, and the entire internet before you’ve even figured out what to do with your hands? Yeah. That’s not me. Maybe it’s not you either.

For a long time, I assumed that meant something was wrong with me. That maybe I just wasn’t the kind of person people liked right away—or at all. And when you’ve been overlooked, rejected, or abandoned, that belief starts to feel less like an assumption and more like a fact. So you start to expect it. You start bracing for it. Maybe you even hold back, convinced that the world has already made up its mind about you.

But what if… that’s not actually true?

What if they just don’t know they like you yet?

The Myth of Instant Connection

We’re taught to idolize effortless connection. The kind where two people lock eyes across a crowded room, where friendships are formed in seconds, where charisma makes everything feel easy. But easy isn’t the same as deep. And fast isn’t the same as lasting.

Some of us aren’t built for instant attraction. Some of us move at a different rhythm—one that asks for time, attunement, and a kind of seeing that doesn’t happen in a single glance. And while that can feel like a disadvantage, what if it’s actually a filter? What if it’s the thing that protects us from shallow connections and makes space for something real?

Signs You’re More Likable Than You Think

If you don’t get immediate validation, it’s easy to assume people don’t feel drawn to you at all. But connection doesn’t always look like grand gestures and magnetic pull. Sometimes it looks like:

People remembering little things about you, even if they don’t say much at first.

Someone circling back for a conversation, even if they didn’t latch on right away.

The way people feel comfortable opening up to you when they wouldn’t with others.

Relationships that start slow but become some of the strongest in your life.


Not all connections spark instantly. Some take time to light.

Reframing the Waiting Game

So what do you do when you see others forming easy, immediate bonds while you feel like you’re on the outside looking in? A few things:

Recognize that quick doesn’t mean better. Some of the fastest connections fizzle out just as quickly. Yours might take longer, but they tend to last.

Remind yourself that your presence is felt, even when it’s not obvious. People might not always react in the way you expect, but that doesn’t mean they’re indifferent to you.

Flip the script. Instead of assuming rejection, assume curiosity. Assume they just haven’t had the chance to really see you yet.


A Thought to Hold Onto

Maybe the goal isn’t to be instantly likable. Maybe it’s to be undeniably real.

And the people who resonate with that? They’ll find their way to you—on their own time, in their own way.

Would love to hear from you—have you ever felt like you had to wait to be seen? How do you handle it? Drop your thoughts in the comments.